10 – 21 March

Back with my Billy no Mates, farting pooch and of course my crocs. It felt fantastic to be back with my lovely, if somewhat, mad as a box of frogs family.

Its like I’d never been away until I looked in the cupboard! He’d rearranged everything into a man OCD order! Oh jeez, where is everything? As I peered in to each cupboard I could hear Craig shouting “nothing changed in there except….” He’d changed every bloody cupboard in some shape or form and being a typical man, he was pleased as punch to find that his reorganisation skills had resulted in space…we have two free cupboards. My thoughts..oh shit, that means he’s chucked loads of stuff. No doubt I will find out what he chucked out over the coming weeks.

On a serious note, it was good to be back with my hubby and so enjoyed giving him a huge big hug and smothering him with kisses. Craig was all clean and smelling of aftershave, whilst Peanut on the other hand stunk of an owd dawg. Clearly a sign the boys had ‘hung’ out in style, festering in their pit. Craig had done a good job of tidying everything up and making the place smell fresh except for the dog. Poor Peanut, he looked like something the cat wouldn’t drag in. Not only did he smell like rotten cheese but he’d no fur on his tail and his chest was bald. My poor little sausage dog…wonder if they do wig tails for dogs?

With everything that’s gone on in the last two weeks we haven’t managed to keep a daily diary but we do have a bit of summary and some pictures on the beautiful town of Silves.

As Craig mentioned, I’d been back in the UK to follow up on this itchy skin condition. The itch drives me nuts and when it’s bad, it is like a constant electric shock that just doesn’t back off. This is something I developed when in Italy last year and it has not really gone away. Sometimes it can last days and quite often I don’t get any sleep, which just compounds the problem. I’ve also developed a few other annoying ailment like an eye condition and low B12, all of which they believe to be linked to the same thing…copper. Apparently, my liver is copper toxic and they are trying to find out why. Anyway, I’ve had loads of tests and now await the outcome along with another consultant appointment. The tests will be a few weeks, so rather than shiver in Manchester, I thought I might as well sun it up in Portugal with my hubby. I must say, a big thank you to everyone for the kind wishes, really appreciated.

I stayed with my sister and it was lovely to spend time with her. We laughed, cried and of course, put the world to right. Thanks for having me Mandy, xxx.

It was also great to see family and friends. Mum was as loving and as gawgus as always. Dad was poorly sick with a cold and a bad back and has since moved in to Bolton Road B&B aka my sisters. However, staying with Mandy did have it’s set backs…we seemed to jinx each other. Every day something went wrong and here are just a few of the highlights

• Instead of 1 endoscopy, I ended up having 3 endoscopies in less than 24 hours. I croaked for a week!
• Mandy’s shower pipe burst turning her downstairs loo in to a fabulous waterfall.
• My mobile phone broke and I lost everyones contact details. I used mum’s mobile for a couple of days but didn’t realise it had an SOS alert until in the middle of the night my sister came charging in to my bedroom like a woman possessed.
• Our central heating system went on the blink but only after I’d fixed the alarm.
• The bedroom lightbulb just shattered and scarred us half to death but not half as much as changing the bulb. The lampshade is that big, I had to climb in it.

I had a great birthday though. Mum treated me (or should I say she treated herself) to a tasty fish, chips & mushy pea lunch. Then in the evening, I tucked in to an Indian take away with my sister. And I wonder why I am a size 8!

As a goodbye present our Lucy gave me a hum dinger of the flu. The extra strength bug certainly knocked me for 6 and no sooner had I said hello to Craig and I was in bed and knocked out cold for several days. I felt awful. Craig had made such an effort and found us a great beach location on the Ilha de Faro and what did I do…go to sleep. When I arrived it was 30 degrees + and glorious sunshine and when I woke several days later it was 18 degrees and pissing down!

Over the last week Craig’s taken me to all the places I missed like Alte and Ilha de Faro so we haven’t taken many pictures, so as not to cover old ground. I must admit I was shocked but pleasantly surprised when Craig sent out Our Bumble. I never thought he would do it but so glad he did. It certainly made my day when he sent it – he’s now promoted himself to Ello Magazine, Editor & Chief!

We have got some pictures of Silves for you. We also stayed at a place called Messines but it was a bit of a hickville with not much to see except muddy puddles and a hardware store selling men stuff.

Messines GPS Position: N37.254407, W-8.284498

Isla de Faro 2nd GPS Position: N37.015272, W-7.985455

Craig seemed rather impressed with their bucket collection and spent a good half an hour giving the glad eye to a rubber 10L with a fancy red handle. Despite her slender ribbed body, Craig just couldn’t part with €1.90 and so returned home to his one and only black builders bucket. The thing is, the one and only bucket has just got a hole in it. Craig is in a real dilemma – do I replace or do I fix? He loves his bucket, it goes everywhere with him and to be parted from it would break his heart. After much pondering he decided to give The Bucket open heart surgery. Every tool in his box was out and eventually, a bit of mastic and a lot of TLC the bucket was back in action.

We received a email update from our friends Hanneke & Derek who are on their way back to the UK. Sounds like they are having fun but it looks bitterly cold up in Porto. They sent some wonderful pictures and one in particular of the last supper (or not!), which I really wanted to show you but for some strange reason we have lost the email. Then today, we got a text message! Would you believe it, they were sat in their motorhome (northern Spain) overlooking a valley full of elephants. How amazing is that! I have got the coordinates and its in the bucket list! It sounds fab.

We watched Fifty Shades of Grey, which came highly recommended by Janette. Definitely worth watching if you haven’t already seen it…its as good as the book!

Vin the motorhome hasn’t been too well this week. First he got a cruise control error message. We took him to the Mercedes Dealer in Faro who plugged him in and gave him the full diagnostics. Fortunately nothing could be found, so they gave him the all the clear and sent us on our way. Then a couple of days later he got another error code. This one we are not sure of, so we’re going to call in on Monday and see if they can check him over again. I recon he’s feeling a little light headed after Craig ditched all that gear out the cupboard. Don’t worry Vin, I will find some more crap to fill it and make you feel better.

We received an email from Barbara at Southport Pleasureland (UK). She has a list of 2015 events and it taking bookings for anyone wishing to camp over. Its a brilliant site and only a few quid, so if you want to know more just drop her an email on barbaragregory01204@hotmail.co.uk. We’ve stayed there before and have to say the Annual Firework Championship is brilliant